Back at it after a break

First day back!
Man that hurt. My arms cramped so bad the first climb that I didnt even think I could do another one. 
But I stretched and massaged them and then went again. 
I forgot I was heavy, so of course the image I had of myself jetting to the top no troubles was met with heavy breath, tired muscles and sweaty hair. (why oh why did i wear a toque?)
Also its cold and it was 7 pm so the gym was packed. So I felt more self concious than I sometimes do. 
I am by far the most beginner person I usually see there, I havent noticed anyone hang out in the beginner section as long as me. Kids go racing to the top of more difficult runs all the time, but they are very light and have not a lifetime of fear built in yet. Well their lifetime ha ha but its short. 
Overall I was proud of myself but I didnt feel that aweseome leaving. 
​

Its a new year, im going to get better and better. 
When you think about it, why aim for anything else?

December was a rough month, not really painful or sad just busy, hard at work and distracted. I found it very difficult to have a work life balance, when I got home the last thing I wanted to do when I got home was leave again to go climbing. And also I had a budget crunch, I didn't believe I could afford it. 
But now that work is done, and I got a climbing pass and shoes for christmas, so what was I waiting for???

Its hard to be the newb. Im really only up against myself there but still, I am a newb. 
I am slow and big and it takes me a lot of effort to get out there. I am still wrapping my head around taking time on the walls, figuring things out, taking breaks, pushing to failing and letting myself fall. 
I know my avoidance was not all because of work. 
It was because of all these things, deep down my mind was scared of being there. 
I still sometimes like the idea of things better than reality, breaking from the idea that I am going to have work hard for this sport. That it was not easy for anyone. Everyone there has worked hard on their bodies and minds to tackle the challenge at hand. I am not the only one having a hard time. 
My hard time is just a lot more visual, I wear it on my body. 
But I am determined to keep going. Already I have had such an amazing response on Instagram of women that I hope I have inspired to try it too. 
And I know this is a niche spot where I can make a difference, I can directly challenge expectation and inspire people around me to do it too. 
Expect that I will be posting a lot more about climbing. 
I wont focus on a lot of techincal, as you can find that anywhere. I am going to focus on my mental challenges and physical restrictions. 
But the way, I stand by my article of challenges of fat hiking, its the same for climbiing. SWEAT!!!
​