Here is the skinny: I have never really had that normal of a period but before a few years ago I just didn't get the whole PMS thing. I never had it. Periods were a pain but whatever, they came and went.
That is until I had two miscarriages and fertility treatments.... and now 3 days a month my world is chaos.
Every month now this is the cycle:
I wake up and feel my mood drop, suddenly I have no patience. Feel overwhelmed by everything and at its darkest moments can't summon up the care to move, feeling like I sincerely want to die.
This lasts for 2 days
On the third day my mood will lift, oh wow I am a rational human being again.
And then my period starts, and for the next 24 hours I will be in terrible pain. My legs completely cramp, my back is so sore I cant hardly stand, my stomach feels like its in a vice. Yeah, thats next level.
This month I wasn't tracking the days and day 1 and 2 correlated with 2 particularly stressful days at work.
13 hour days.
I got so overwhelmed I locked myself in a bathroom and cried. I was so so sad I almost quit my job, like really almost quit my job. I yelled at my husband, like crazy crazy mad at him. Literally walked the dog and muttered to myself in anger for the whole walk. Crying.
Then Sunday night, it cleared. Im happy, balanced and feeling fine. What happened? Why cant I handle a little stress? man I am embarrassed about my actions. Sigh, I must apologize to Nathan.
Monday: I wake up, tired, feeling sick. Have trouble walking down the stairs. Sore. Cramped. And then my period starts.
How annoying is it as a woman to have that old "she must be on her period" crap validated. And how frustrating that I seemingly cant do much about it, they are right, I am PMSing. Like crying at work? Quit my job? shave my head? Creating rifts with my Husband
The long and the short of this is Ladies, we have some shit.
And some days you just any gonna have the strength.
Give yourself the rest, and know that somedays you have a date with the couch and that just has to be ok.
On a side proactive note: I finally have an appt with a specialist to get this checked out and hopefully balance my hormones.
I already know step 1: Lose some weight.
So once this day one of pain is over its back to the climbing gym!
there are facts and then there are emotions. This is as honest as I can be about my struggles and triumphs.